IIIIvvvvaaannn!
by pandy334
Summary: America finds something strange in his house...this was done out of pure boredom...not to be taken seriously
1. Chapter 1: The body

This is based off of a Hetalia MMD I watched byWolfTenDragon

I do not own Hetalia~

~OxO~

America walk into his house to find a great shock. Setting on his living room floor was a dead Prussia with his roommate Ivan standing beside him covered in blood.

"IVAAAN! there is a dead nation in our house!" He shouted.

"Oh hey" said Ivan, "How did he get here?"

"Iiivan! What did you do?"

"Me! I-I didn't do this!"

"Explain what happened Ivan!"

"I've never seen him before in my life."

""Why did you kill Prussia Ivan!"

"I do not kill people, that-that is my lest favorite thing to do."

"Tell me Ivan what exactly what you were doing before I got home."

"W-well I was up stairs."

"ok:

"I was setting in my room"

"Yes."

"I was reading a book."

"Uh-huh."

"And this guy walk in."

\

"Ok."

"So I went up to him."

"Yes."

"and I-well I stabed him thirty seven times in the chest."

"IIIvan that kills people!"  
"OH! Oh I didn't know."  
"How could you not know that?"

"Awwww! I stink!"

"What happened to his hands?"

"What's that-"His hands Ivan! Why are they missing?"

"Oh! I sorta...cooked them up and ate them"

"Ivvan!"

"I WAS HUNGRY! And when you crave hands..."

"Why on earth would you do that!"

"I was craving hands, give me a break. My stomach was making the rumplies that only hands would satisfy."

"What is wrong with you!"

"Well I eat hands and kill people. That two things."

Needless to say...America moved out...


	2. Chapter 2: The cruise

**Back by popular demand!**

** Seriously I got, like, 15 messages and my BFF said to write more so...here it is XD**

** Thanks for all the people who commented and favorited my story. The first story was based of a MMD I saw but this next few are all mine XD**

**Disclaimer~ I don't own Hetalia 3**

~ ={ D ~

America decided to move back in with Ivan, and so to celebrate, Ivan planned a cruise for them both. They had a lot of fun playing and swimming all week long, when suddenly the ship. Thank goodness they were found a life boat.

"Iiiivan! What on earth was all that?" America yelled.

" I'm not sure what your referring to." Said Ivan.

" You sunk an entire cruise ship Ivan..."

"Are you sure that was me? I would think I would remember something like that..."

"Ivan I watched you beat the Captions face in with your pipe!"

"well that sounds dangerous."

"You were throwing children off the side of the ship."

"That must have been horrifying to watch."

"You started making out with the ice sculptures!"

" Thank goodness the children weren't their to watch."

"Uh...Ivan? Why is the lifeboat so red and sticky?"

"I guess you could say it is red and sticky..."

"Ivan what are we standing in?"

"Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?"- "No I would not..."-"Melted gumdrops?"-"no...""Boat nectar."-No..." "Some of God's tears?"

"Tell me the truth Ivan!"

"Fine. It Germania and Rome from 2B."

"IIIIvan!" "Well they were taking all the cresent rolls."

"I will not apologize for art."

"Ivan were are the other life boats?"

"You won the prize I didn't even notice that."

"Looking at the moon and the sun, probably at the bottom of the ocean...I put lots of holes in them..."

"IIIVAN!"

"I have a problem...I have a serious problem..."

"Ivan! Your terrible today."

"Shhh...Do you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness"-that's the sound of people drowning-"That is what forgiveness sounds like..screaming and then silence."

"..."


	3. Chapter 3: The vacation

BACK AGAIN! Sorry it took so long.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or the idea for the first chapter (saw it on you tube)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^ J ^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"IIIvvann! Were suppose to be on vacation!"

"I don't know about you, but I am having a wonderful time here."

"You toppled a south American government Ivan!"

"The people have spoken. Viva la resistance."

"You pushed the resistance leader into a giant fan."

"He was a traitor and a scoundrel."

"He was trying to stop you from pushing other people into a giant fan."

Suddenly a thump was heard and a foot shaped lump kicked inside of Ivan.

"OH! That was a foot. I appeared to have swallowed an entire person."

"That was the hotel bartender."

"That explains why my vodka is taking so long."

"It was Horrifying! Your mouth unhinged like a snake."

"Wow! That sounds pretty awesome."

"I can't take you anywhere Ivan."

"That hurt my feelings now were both in the wrong."

"I wanna go home were leaving."

"In that case I should probably mention that I filled are luggage with Baltic meat."

"W-waht!"

"Well I'm building a meat dragon and not just any meat will do."

" You know what forget it. I'm not even shocked anymore."

"Aww! That's no fun."

"This has become the norm. for you Ivan."

" I'll have to try harder next time."

"Please don't."

"I feel like I've issued a challenge."

"Iiiivan!"

" Its to late now...YOU!"

"You?"

"I totally don't remember your name."

"We've known each other for three centuries Ivan!"

"And what an impression you've made."

"My name is Alfred."

"What."

"I said my name is Alfred."

"Oh I thought you were a woman."

"Why would you think that?"

"Its mainly the jacket. Are you sure"

"Of course I'm sure!"

"Welll...If you'll exuse me I have some pictures to delete."


	4. Chapter 4: The end

I'M BACK BABY! Sorry I was so late. Computer issues. -_-

disclaimer! I don't own hetalia!

~~IIIIIIVVVVAAANNN~

"Ivaaan! You tracked mud all over the carpet! "

"Now that right there is a mess."

"England just cleaned them yesterday Ivan!"

"I'm not responsible for this. I've been messing with Latvia all morning."

"Their clearly your foot prints Ivan."

"That there is an imposter on the loose."

"They lead directly to you."

"Clue number one; the imposter is a phantom."

"Ivan! Stop before-"

BOOOOOOOMMM! America's house exploded into millions of tiny wood chips.

"...IVAAAAN!"

"Happy birthday!"

"It's not-please tell me you had nothing to do with this."

*Creepy smile*"Why don't you blow out your candle."

"You've gone too far this time Ivan!"

"What's that it's hard to hear you over the sound of melting city."

"How did you even do this?"

"A dollop of fairy dust."

"Ivaan..."

"I ripped the tag of a mattress."

"This isn't funny Ivan!"

"Who's laughing? Clearly not all the people who just exploded."

"I'm leaving. I've had enough of this."

"But think of all the perfectly roasted faces we get to munch on now."

"What? Why?"

"Because we're friend and friendship is two pals munching on a well cooked face together."

"That isn't friendship Ivan. That's sick."

"Well then you probably won't like your birthday decoration."

"It's not even my-OMG!" Millions of faces tied to balloons floated gently down to the two nations.

"Surprise!"

"Ugh!OH! No! Awww!"

"I'm sorry I thought you liked faces. Obviously their was some kind of miss communication."

"This is awful Ivan..."

"You're right. It's not nearly as tasteful as I pictured in my head."

"I think I'm gonna throw u-OMG! One touched me!"

"This was clearly the wrong way to go."

"You think, Ivan.."

"What can I say? I expected them to be cooked more. Raw face is just gross."

"That isn't the problem Ivan! Why would you think any of this is a good idea?"

"Probable because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence bent on ruling the would and making everyone become one with Russia. "

"...oh."

"I don't understand how you keep forgetting that."

~~~~~IIIIVVVAAAANNNN~~~~

And now...it...is...finished!

Bye~ Please check out my story complete :)


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